"Perfection is my direction..."

Hello. I started this blog post with literally no idea of what I was going to say. I will probably end it with the same feeling. But between the ends, I will try to make this post somewhat relevant. Maybe I'll succeed, maybe I won't. The answer lies in my mind and fingers (if ever your only hope lies in either of those things, you have been forewarned that you are probably screwed).

I'll start with this, because it's the easiest thing to talk about. I heard a song by Plumb the other day, and I really liked it. I heard it on Becca's blog (if you know Becca or read her blog). The song was titled "Cut". At first, I was kinda worried that she had suddenly developed an obsession with really depressing music (the first verse isn't exactly a ray of sunshine). As I listened, though, I heard a message among the awesome sounding music and incredible lyrics. As it turns out, Plumb is a Christian artist that God has blessed with the talent and ability to get things out there that, otherwise, would never be heard (by lots of people). Her music is intriguing in and of itself, but the message of the lyrics is what caught my ear (pretty sure I just invented a phrase). The song addresses a very fragile subject that most musicians shy away from: self-destruction. The chorus says:

"I do not want to be afraid.

I do not want to die inside just to breathe in.

I'm tired of feeling so numb.

Relief exists, I find it when I am cut."

After this, it gives a message of love that is offered by God, our Heavenly Father, and the grace He can give to save even those who are in the midst of something so awful as this. That God can reach through any pain, addiction, and trouble. Plumb has a way of saying it that blows anything I could say on the subject completely out of the water. Also, this song had a special meaning to me, due to things that friends of mine have went through. It's incredibly hard to encourage someone and be there for them, when you have no idea what it's like to feel what they're feeling. I'm glad that there's music out there to contradict the emo lyrics that, when listened to by people feeling what the songs describe, only serve to drag them deeper. We need more artists like Plumb, who can offer hope through music to those that are suffering.

I don't feel like talking about anything else; that was much more than I was planning on saying. If it doesn't make sense at parts, forgive me. I'm not going to go back and check to make sure it does, because I'm trying to get my dad to take me to Target so I can get Kingdom Hearts. :D I'm so excited about it. I'll end this post with this: I'm frickin excited about Feb. 14 this year. Why? AVA's new album, "Love", comes out that day. I LOVE AVA. I've been a fan of theirs since the beginning. Their last two CD's were amazing, and this one is sure to be as well.

And that's all I got for now. I'll end with the usual,

Why don't you tell us about those rabbits, George...

Houston, We Have A Problem...

Hello. I don't understand why every astronaut in the universe is only capable of calling Houston to inform them of a problem. It must be depressing to live in Houston, because it seems like there is always something wrong that they are being informed about.

That last paragraph was pointless and completely unrelated to what I want to talk about. I just wrote what came to my mind when I saw the phrase "Houston, we have a problem". Anyway. I don't understand people at all. And this blog post will probably not help (indeed, it very easily could make a few people hate me), but I have to get it out there. You see, I was on the phone with a few unnamed friends the other day, and they started telling me about how they were sending someone else hate-mail because of what this person did to them. The next day, they both went to church (one of them was in the worship band) and sang about God's love and how grateful they are. It might just be me, but I'm pretty sure there's a disconnect there. Jesus said "He who hates his brother has already committed murder in his heart," and (I think it was even in the same passage), he said "The greatest commandment is this: love one another as I have loved you."

If this is true, how can we call ourselves Christ-followers when we openly express hatred to others? Now do not get me wrong, I am not saying I have never been mad at anyone. If you're reading this you know me well enough that you shouldn't think that. But I pray constantly that God will give me the strength to forgive people for when they have wronged me. I've tried hating people, and I've tried forgiving people. Hating is easier to start with, but it becomes a constant burden that weighs you down. Once you forgive someone, once you really do forgive someone, it's like a weight has been lifted that you didn't even know was there. Unfortunately, though, this is incredibly hard to do.

To you two unnamed friends, I am not saying you are wrong in being upset with that other person. Heck, I'M upset with them just because of what they did to you. But hating them and trying to make their life miserable isn't going to help. Sure, it'll make you feel better for a little bit, but is it really worth it? This person is obviously not saved, which means that they do not necessarily hold the same moral standards as you do. Everyone is different in that. But what kind of witness is it when we act exactly like the world tells us to act? The Bible says not to take revenge on others, but to let God take revenge for you. It says that when someone scorns you, be kind to them "for this will be as placing burning coals upon their head." Returning evil with evil doesn't turn out any result except that everybody gets mad. Returning evil with good confuses the crap out of the person that did evil, which makes you feel better and gives you a chance to witness.

I am not asking you to become this person's best friend. In fact, if that happened I might question your sanity. But I am asking you to think about what you do and how it effects not only others, but yourself (I just totally reversed a common phrase there). I have many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many (ETC.) faults, but I also have strengths that God has given me. One of these is that I literally do not hate anyone. That's an impressive claim, but it is simply because I pray that God will give me strength to forgive. And He does. This guy once asked me who I hated, since he had just went on a 5-10 minute rant on the people he hated. My response of 2 words got probably the best reaction out of anything I could've said. Those words: "No one." Then after that, it took me like 5 minutes to convince him that I was being serious. He named off people that he knew had done something that I could hate them for, and for each one the expression on his face became funnier as I told him that I had forgiven all of them. This guy is not saved, and has a lot of doubts where the Bible is concerned. But through my forgiving others, I was given a chance to witness to him. That guy is the younger brother of one of you unnamed friends.

I love both of you, and am always praying for you. You've both been through so much more than I have. But I pray that God will give you the strength to forgive and forget. As Yoda once said (and yes, I know I am quoting a fictional character. Shut up), "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." Forget the fear part. The rest is valid though... And that's pretty much all I have to say.

Why don't you tell us about those rabbits, George...

Cookies, Weird Smells, and FOAL.

Hello. Today was weird, and not in a good way. quite a few weird things happened. I'm not going to give you a second-by-second description (like some, *cough*, one person I know), but I will be giving a basic overview and my personal comments. That last part should scare you.

Anyway, down to the nitty gritty. Today, I woke up at like 7:something AM, and prepared to leave my house. I am never happy when I have to do this. It normally means I will spend the rest of the day acting like a zombie. This...was no different. We were out the door by 8:30, and we killed an hour driving pointlessly around doing "errands", but I do not know what we really did because I was sitting in the front seat thinking about brains, as many zombies catch themselves doing. At 9:30, we got to this place where Lily and Noah (my youngest siblings) normally have classes on Wednesday mornings. They had them today, too, though I did not know it ahead of time. So while they're in classes for around 3 hours, Ashley and I sit in a library with barely any interesting-looking books, trying to entertain ourselves.

When it was finally time for food, my mom tells us that she got Chick Fil A. I, for one, was excited because I freaking love Chick Fil A. I was not excited, however, when we realized that we had one less chicken sandwich than we ordered (stupid employees). Guess who didn't get one. So after I split a sandwich with my mom, who, apparently, "wasn't hungry" (she's ALMOST anorexic), I was informed that we were about to "get" tp spend another 2+ hours in the library while everyone else got to have a party and do a cookie swap. In case you don't know what that it, it's like dirty santa with cookies. It's fricking awesome. Right as I was being informed of this (and feeling the joy eternally sucked from me), I looked over and saw... A guy. I will not be saying this guy's name (because none of you know him), but let me say this: for an anonymous dude wearing a Bob Marley shirt, he had the funk. Dude smelled so bad I could taste it. From 2 feet away. And he was completely unaware of this.


Now, it just so happens that I know the dude. He's a friend of some of my friends, and he knows me well enough that I'm the only person he will hang around for the entire 2+ hours that we are there. Joy? No. There was no joy. That had already been sucked out of me (see previous paragraph). But it did make things a heck of a lot more interesting. Now, not only was I being tortured while bored out of my mind, but I was being followed by a ridiculously smelly guy whom I honestly doubt knows what this alien concept called "Personal space" is. As you probably guessed, upon his arrival I immediately ran up, hugged him, and proceeded to lead the entire building in a chorus of "Joy To The World".

Just kidding. But, I endured, and will finish this post by explaining the phrase "FOAL" (see title). You see, my dog (Abby) happens to be insane. Today I was taking her on a walk and she was being normal; acting insane. I got frustrated so I called her a FOAL, or, Freak On A Leash. Because she was. Naha...

Why don't you tell us about those rabbits, George...

We Used To Be Friends

Hello. Today, I was listening to the song "We Used To Be Friends" by The Dandy Warhols, and it like slapped me in the face with flashbacks. As I sat there listening to this awesome song, I thought of all the people that I used to friends with, and am now not for some reason or another.

For some of them, it's because they simply replaced me. I've forgiven them and moved on. For some of them, it's because we simply drifted apart and now don't talk much. For some, it's because of one of us moving out of city/state. But how and why I am no longer friends with these unnamed people is irrelevant to this post (actually, it's irrelevant to pretty much everything/everyone). The relevant part is that I realized just how much God has blessed me.

A. He has given me HIMSELF. He gave His only begotten son, so that I will be able to spend eternity with Him in heaven. He gave me His Word, the Bible, as instruction for how to live and what to do.
B. He has given me a family that loves me no matter what, and even if I don't agree with them on some things, or if I get annoyed as freaking crap at them, I know that they'll always be there for me.
3. He has given me the best friend in the world, that I always know I can talk to about anything, and that is a constant example of how to live like Christ, especially through suffering.
D. He has given me a home in America, the greatest country on earth, and has provided for everything I've ever needed. EVER. That is such a mind-blowing statement. To think that God, the Creator of the entire freaking UNIVERSE, cares about me and provides for me personally. He knows that I'm a sinner. He knows that I am, as Isaiah said, "A man of unclean lips, among a people of unclean lips."

So after all that, how can I be ungrateful? I don't understand myself. I'm completely positive that YOU don't understand me either. It's incredible to think that God knows me better than I know myself... But it's true. Of that, I will never be convinced otherwise. But knowing this is also upsetting to me because I realize how much I take for granted. I can talk to my Creator, whenever I want, but I barely ever do, and when I do, it's never long. Why is that? Is it because I don't appreciate what He has given for me? I hope not. Is it because I don't understand something? I almost hope so, but that is because I am selfish and would like to think that I am not the one on whom the blame lies. Is it because I'm simply too busy? That is bull; if the God of the universe has time, I sure as heck do. So why don't I take advantage of everything He has given me?

If you're expecting me to answer that question on this blog post, I am afraid you will be disappointed. I do not know the answer. So I will do what I should be doing a lot more of, asking God for the answers.

Why don't you tell us about those rabbits, George...

I Love This One

HELLO! I totally love this blog template. If you're wondering where I found it, click on the annoying orange bar above this post that says "PYZAM.COM" on it. I haven't figured out how to get rid of that yet. It's not extremely annoying, but it is annoying enough to constantly bother me. If you know how to get rid of it, please let me in on that secret (I bet you didn't even know it was a secret. You feel smart now, don't you?). Naha... That's pretty much all I have to say. Goodbye now.

Why don't you tell us about those rabbits, George...

<--- This is ANNOYING.

So I changed my blog template (yes Becca, I figured it out). I'm not sure how much I like this one though. I tried changing the background color to blue instead of red, but the color comes from the source url and I can't change it through HTML... I find myself annoyed >.< but whateves. The only thing I can't figure out is how the heck to get rid of the speech bubbles next to the titles of my post. And they all say "undefined" over and over and over....And its ANNOYING!!! *Explodes* Make it stop. No, seriously, if you can help with that please tell me. I'm new to this crap...

Why don't you tell us about those rabbits, George...

Ham, Turkey, and Lots of Other Stuff.

It is the day after Thanksgiving, and I am just now able to blog about how much I love Thanksgiving. The food is awesome, I love seeing my family, and not having school doesn't exactly suck either :D Am I the only one that thinks Black Friday is a weird name? The day after Thanksgiving is called "Black Friday," but I do not know why. Actually, I don't know ANYONE that knows why. So for all we know, we might be participating in the biggest racial name scandal in history (actually, I think ANY racial name scandal would be the biggest; have you ever heard of another one??). Abby stop liking my foot. Anyway....

I have decided that ham (not Chad, I am talking about the meat) is better than turkey. Why? For a few reasons:
1. It tastes better.
2. It has a funnier name.
3. Turkey has L-Tryptophan and Carbohydrate Metabolism in it, which makes you tired. I do not like food that makes me more tired than I already am. It would be different if it was chocolate, but seeing as it is not chocolate, that does not matter right now.
4. Is a number.

And, after that exceedingly thought-provocative list, I am sure your world has just entered a tailspin of uncertainty. I apologize for causing you such grief. But, rest assured, there is something that you can concentrate on to get you through this wave of confusion: remember that you will one day die, that it is inevitable, and that you will probably not be ready for it.

After that, I have nothing left to say. Die.

Why don't you tell us about those rabbits, George...