Ham, Turkey, and Lots of Other Stuff.

It is the day after Thanksgiving, and I am just now able to blog about how much I love Thanksgiving. The food is awesome, I love seeing my family, and not having school doesn't exactly suck either :D Am I the only one that thinks Black Friday is a weird name? The day after Thanksgiving is called "Black Friday," but I do not know why. Actually, I don't know ANYONE that knows why. So for all we know, we might be participating in the biggest racial name scandal in history (actually, I think ANY racial name scandal would be the biggest; have you ever heard of another one??). Abby stop liking my foot. Anyway....

I have decided that ham (not Chad, I am talking about the meat) is better than turkey. Why? For a few reasons:
1. It tastes better.
2. It has a funnier name.
3. Turkey has L-Tryptophan and Carbohydrate Metabolism in it, which makes you tired. I do not like food that makes me more tired than I already am. It would be different if it was chocolate, but seeing as it is not chocolate, that does not matter right now.
4. Is a number.

And, after that exceedingly thought-provocative list, I am sure your world has just entered a tailspin of uncertainty. I apologize for causing you such grief. But, rest assured, there is something that you can concentrate on to get you through this wave of confusion: remember that you will one day die, that it is inevitable, and that you will probably not be ready for it.

After that, I have nothing left to say. Die.

Why don't you tell us about those rabbits, George...

The (Saga?) continues.....

Hello. Welcome to the latest installment of I Have No Life And Am Consequentially Posting On A Blog That No One Reads. For today's topic, we will be discussing geometry-among other things-but mostly geometry, which I think could be summarized in two words: it sucks. Today, however, geometry sucked slightly less, due to the fact that near the end of the class our teacher got stumped by a problem and spent the remainder of the class (somewhere between 10 and 20 minutes) trying to figure out ONE problem. She was not trying to figure out the answer to said problem, but trying to understand (so she could attempt at making US understand) WHY the answer was like it was. You see, we students are fine with saying that angle 4 is bigger than angle 6 simply because it looks bigger. Mrs. Laatsch, however, insists that there must be a VALID reason for everything, and apparently "It looks bigger" is not valid enough. So... We came up with a valid one. And our revolutionary answer for everything in the universe is: Jesus. You see, Jesus was the perfect Lamb. He is right, He is always right, and He is never wrong. So, logically, we figure that "Jesus" could be a correct answer for every single question in the universe. Why? Jesus.

There are many practical benefits to this method of thinking, for example: Teacher asks, "What is the distance formula?" One could respond "The square root of y2-y1 raised to the second power plus the square root of x2-x1 raised to the second power," but that is really long and difficult to memorize. A much simpler way of doing it would be: Teacher asks, "What is the distance formula?" And all of the students could reply, in unison, "Jesus." Though they would first be treated like sacreligious imbaciles, after explaining their answer they could not be proved incorrect. They would then get the extra joy of being formally appologized to by the teacher.

This method could also make English class extremely easy.

Unfortunately, however, no adult in their right mind will embrace this method of thinking. What does this mean? We present it to the government.

Seriously though, I think that this is a revolutionary idea that could very well be embraced by our government, who are (it seems) actively trying to run our country into the ground. Allow me to clarify: I am not saying that Jesus has anything to do with the fact that our government is trying to destroy us. In fact, our government is only able to attempt to destroy us because of a LACK of Jesus. I am aware, however, that if we simply answered "Jesus" to everything, and never actually learned anything, we would probably be in even worse shape than we are now. For all I know, we might even elect a President without knowing anything about him, possibly even one with Socialist agendas.

Good thing the adults of America that vote did NOT grow up simply answering "Jesus" to everything and not learning what they were supposed to. Wait, did they?

Why don't you tell us about those rabbit's, George.

In my opinion, he deserves to keep them.

So, there is a story out about a man in Pensylvania that stole 100 copies of Modern Warfare 2 from a GameStop. How did he accomplish this? By telling the clerk that he had a friend outside with a gun, that was willing to shoot anyone that called the authorities. After stating this, he takes 100 copies of Modern Warfare 2, along with some other items, and leaves. He is still at large.

As Jim Sterling from Destructoid.com says, "I'm amazed at the man's audacity, and almost want to crown him a hero for such a bold move, especially since my cynicism tells me that there was no friend, and he lied about the whole gun thing. If he truly walked into a GameStop, pretended some mythical guy was outside with a gun, and walked away with as much Modern Warfare 2 as he could carry, then I say we should not even attempt to bring him to justice, for he has earned his crime."

I find myself agreeing with Jim here. This man was either an idiot, or a genius. Right now, seeing as he has not yet been caught, I am leaning more toward the genius side. But we shall see. I honestly do not think he will be caught. And even if he is, he will be forever remembered in the gaming world...

Why don't you tell us about those rabbits, George...

Ideas

Hello. i have decided, in case you didn't know, that life is full of ideas. Most of them are bad. But there are some good ideas hidden within the waffle, and that is what I am referring to, as it is not humanly possible to list every bad idea in existence. There simply are too many. But on the other hand, there are also an infinite amount of GOOD ideas. Funny how I can talk that long about ideas without stating even one. Actually, that is half the point. I REFUSE TO TELL YOU THE GRAND IDEA I HAVE HAD. Because as long as you don't know, you can not expect it of me. And I like things better that way. Only one person has heard of my idea, and to you, person, I have only finished a little bit of it. Like, a ridiculously small bit. But I'm going to try and finish it because that would be amazing. I will send you, person, a copy of the first, um, section when I am finished with it.

On another note, I just found out that Garrison's bday is Sunday. HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY G!!!!!!!! I salute you, even though you are not about to rock.

Just kidding. He was lying. But I'm gunna post this anyway so that I don't have to say it later :P MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Lool. (Yes, I am aware that I just said "lool". I am also aware of a great many other things.)

Well, now it is time for me to go. Goodbye, short people (particularly Jesse Warbington, whom you should all make fun of for her shortness).

Why don't you tell us about those rabbits, George...

Hello.

Hello. I is back. Yes, I know it is hard to believe, but I is. After many random and consecutive groundings over unimportant things, I live on to post again. Funny how life works... Actually, no it is not funny. I find myself extremely annoyed by the fact that life, in all of it's workings, is not funny. My dog is licking a desk. Stop it Abby... Anyway, life. I do not like a whole lot of it. I remember when I was little and I couldn't wait to be a teenager. Now I wish I was little again. Funny how that works...

Guess what. I'm sick. With what? No idea. Where did I get it? No idea. I blame Garrison. But that accusation is unfounded... But anyway, because of this mysterious and unnamed ailment that is currently haunting me, I had to miss my classes today. This is bad. Not to mention the facts that my head feels like it's gunna explode, I cannot--at present--breathe through my nose, and that the cake is a lie. That last part was irrelevant... Anyway, I am miserable. No one else is home, except my dog, Abby, and she is driving me insane. As if I don't go there often enough.

I need a new pillow. I slept for less than three hours last night. Part of this is due to sickness, part is due to my pillow being a rock with a 30-year-old Star Wars pillowcase on it.

Anyway, I think this is all I planned to say (and I didn't plan to say as much as I did). So, until next time, "May you live every day of your life."-Jonathan Swift.

Why don't you tell us about those rabbits, George...